Going Down

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demure101
demure101
212 Followers

One more walk. Damp night’s
deserted city’s spacious squares
and wide and well-lit streets

then shopping centres, cold
and only lit enough to keep
prospective robbers out

to red-brick terraces with pubs
and chips-shops on the corners,
badly-kept, blacked out

where on the sullen walls
the faded posters tell their tales
of last year’s entertainment

in the timid light
of local all-night Asians, crammed
untidy permanence,

unto the deeper murk
of bricked-up doors and broken windows,
oil-stains, potholes, stench...

At last there are the steps
descending to the river. Down
I go – a splash; a rat? –

and look across the water.
Straight ahead the fog creates
a ragged horizontal

and the fading moon,
about to set, looks back at me:
far-off, blue, hard as ice.

demure101
demure101
212 Followers
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6 Comments
CleardaynowCleardaynowalmost 10 years ago
Really good

As they all have said – really good

And so nice to see this shift in style from your recent strong metaphor to purely redolent lyrical. Beautifully shaped with the descent from city’s salubrious centre through darker picturing and then the shift to the river, then moon. Absolutely spot on. You continue to keep us on our toes.

No rhyming for the last two lines this time either – I eventually noticed.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
*****

Five.

Oldbear63Oldbear63about 10 years ago
Beautifully Done Demure

Felt like I was walking with you seeing what you saw and feeling the feelings. Such a complete picture with so few words. Beautifully done, Demure.

DawnJDawnJabout 10 years ago
Cinematographic...

...and so well done! I walked along with the "cameraman", noting the changes to the terrain, and the character of the city, as they registered on the screen. How brilliant is this! :)

Ashesh9Ashesh9about 10 years ago
Thnx to Angie's Recco i read this :

a superb journey into a city's decay , grime 'n impermanence ........sad , hard-hittin , sharply etched imagery !!! High 5-ed !!

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