Green Man

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33 words
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MikeIvy
MikeIvy
8 Followers

Awaken gentle Earth,
Cast off winters chill.
Warm yourself,
By Apollo’s grace.

Welcome the Green man,
Sound the spring’s tune.
Send it calling to the fields,
Let it echo through the woods.

MikeIvy
MikeIvy
8 Followers
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buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
ok, it may not be original

theme-wise, but it's delving a little deeper than plenty written on the topic manage... what i think you create here, MI, is a sort of pastoral, clean, springlike feel with your write. it leaves me with a scent of fresh air in my nose, looking for rabbits...

i prefer the second half, and particularly those last two lines.

you've a missing apostrophe in winters if you meant it as a singular winter you refer to (as i'm thinking you did); a plural would require a comma after 'winters'. i don't feel you need as much punctuation as you've used, but that's definitely a personal taste thing. keep writing, MI - you are growing with each piece!

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
*

not bad, but not quite original

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