- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Grossed Out By Brad Pitt
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I kissed Brad Pitt — in my dream,
And he was the worst kisser ever.
He had no technique,
His scruffy beard annoyed me,
And his mouth tasted like rotten mutton fat.
I think he'd been kissing rotting corpses.
I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth,
Even scraping my tongue didn't work.
And what was worse,
Worse even than his foul mouth and the nauseating taste,
Was the fact no one believed me that I'd kissed him,
Even the women standing next to me at the time.
When I awoke,
I was still trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
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