- Erotic Poetry
- Have Your Fingers Danced?
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Click hereHave your fingers danced, Milady,
Since you last my letter read?
Have they played across your breasts,
As sinful visions filled your head?
And did they slip beneath your silk,
Into your nest of curly hair,
And seek between your netherlips,
The swollen rosebud hidden there?
Did you grow wet? Your breath grow hot?
Did you bite your trembling lip?
Did your bedsprings squeek their song,
At the rising, falling of your hips?
Did your tender nipples harden?
Did your body buck and writhe?
Did your fingers plunge inside,
The hot, wet slit between your thighs?
And did you growl a throaty growl,
And scream the scream that climax brings,
Then fall back on your sweaty sheets,
A puppet now without its strings?
Does passion's scent now fill your room?
Do wicked visions fill your head?
Do your wet fingers taste of lust?
Don't you wish it was my hand instead?
- COMMENTS
perksalmost 20 years agoAs someone who has written a few poems with similar flavor, I find it interesting that this one lands on my critique day. okay, down to it... There is supposed to be passion in this poem according to the context, some sort of intensly sexual experience, and everytime you add a singsong rhyme/assonance to that it makes me feel like I want to have a fake orgasm. It's exactly like that. "oh ohhh ohhh, yeah baby this is great stuff" *rolls eyes" Dude, you have a particular voice that could do some great stuff, don't ruin the true emotion of the thing by using the incorrect tool. You have a pretty good grasp of meter, I think you should use rhyme and assonance within this poem but not in pseudo"couplet" form. That's what breaks this poem for me. I'm not sure if some of the word choices match the quill to parchment feel of this poem, either, but then, mine never did either. However, now, by reading your poem, I see what everyone was saying. So you've helped me with my poetry too, thanks.
