Help Wanted...Inquire Within

Help Wanted Sign Reads:
Soul-mate,
Inquire Within...

Do you ever know the lover?
Who's the candied apple,
the sugar plum fairy,
the heart's coups d'état,
the one who still makes you breathless after the first night of hot sex?

Can one define Missy Right,
or is it at best a guess?

How we limit–
they must have certain education,
a certain race,
a certain figure,
a certain background,
a certain religion,
a certain income
and certainly like sex.

I say fuck it all;
give me someone who can tolerate me
when I piss her off;
who'll give me a pedicure,
who'll laugh at my bad jokes,
who'll cuss me out when my addictions best me,
who'll understand that sad stuff makes me cry
and can enjoy a girl who wants to be a boy.

In other words,
the one who can put up with my shit,
and is smart,
and just as strange as me,
exuding inner beauty that perhaps only I can see and love.

In return, Missy Infatuation-Maybe-Soul-Mate,
I'll try to clean the toilet,
rub your back when you have cramps,
paint your toenails,
buy your maxi pads,
fan you during hot flashes,
eat your pussy while you watch porn
and ensure your pleasure is felt before mine when we love.

I'll humbly try and make you a better human,
all I ask is please try and do the same for me.

Oh, and I'll forget the above often.

And SHHHHH, here's a secret,
you can forget too.

Your pay isn't money;
it isn't orgasmic bliss;
it isn't the latest fasion,
a new house,
a new pair of sneakers
or new panties.
Who needs panties anyway?

Your pay is love after infatuation exits.

*****
Author notes

Forgive me for the indulgence.

A little over two years ago, I hired someone who read the sign. The job pays little, but OMG, the fringe benefits.

I love you, *****. We are two strange parts of one kinky whole.

EH

Teeheehee...fringe benefits coming my way!