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Click hereThe feeling rush of the pulse
as bodies press
and mingled hearts bond closer
while emotions generate
an enormous rush of passion.
The soul escalates
to higher heights
while love is shared
between two whom care.
Lips that taste of flesh and desires
bring the inner fire higher and higher.
The rush of spasmed muscle
the quiver of fondness rose
and the shake of intimacy
while gripping for more
wanting even higher.
But a floating descent
is imminent
only to grip again
to try and ascend
wanting even higher.
suggestions:
"between two whom care" - no "m"
"the quiver of fondness rose" - Is the tense correct?