Hopeless Romantic Me...

"Its a simple game - really..."
"Rules?" - sure it has rules,
life has rules too.
Sometimes we even follow - the rules,
sometimes we make our own...
still - I regress.

"Everything has an ambiance..."
(don't you agree?)
a time and a place - a 'feel'
that is unique and essential
to the proper mood...
else why even 'bother'.

"Dim lighting - not dark,
nor bright - dim..."
gentle shadows not threatening
or eye holding in possible 'terrors'
that could be - perhaps are - near.

"A comfy chair -
eternity in a comfy chair -
what a concept..."
chuckles soft echo within,
still the silence without -
to thoughts so rare - anymore.
Anyways... be comfy - it counts,
I don't know why - just does,
somehow.

"Face the chair toward the open room..."
definitely not a desk or table...
too hard to rest upon them.
Remember -
give yourself 'leg' room...
for the pre-trembles,
the 'nervous' twitches.

The final expanding thoughts...

"You never knew I dreamed of you...
well - I did. In all the teasing,
I had a point - a gentle way
of being near
as only I could - be near."

"I always listened -
to every thought and word you had,
anytime. All the nights -
some of you cried,
some of you laughed,
some of you just were - lonely - like me.
Silly moments, teasing moments...
a life's collage of 'moments' -
is all I have."

"The days were spent in remembering -
the night before and
the one before that
and before that -
til the jumble and 'feel'
were indelibly held
and became the only treasure...
only treasure
I ever held."

"The 'net' isn't real.
Its but an anonymous 'game',
a toy, a silly nothing -
so pale to the sunlight outside.
There's no one on the other end,
nothing real... nothing that feels
anything at all.
Its just a me - sitting -
reading what I want to see,
seeing what I want to read...
not a flesh, blood, and bone person -
a breathing, feeling, living entity...
the tears falling and falling
and falling don't really exist
or hurt right now - not at all.
The closing throat... no -
it doesn't exist
at all..."

"I saw... really saw 'your' stars.
Closed my eyes and felt your hands...
inside. Opened my eyes
and dared to think - actually dared,
these walls so near
weren't all there was..."

"I was wrong."