I Am Jesus

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Parody of the Helen Reddy classic I Am Woman

I am Jesus
Hear me preach
To numbers too big to ignore
And you know I won't stab you in the back
Cos I'm no fake
I'm reborn for real
Yes, I know you've heard others who sworn before
Pretending to be the real me
Faking such cruel hoaxs
Did't want to but I had to
Take 'em down to the floor
Showed them just what the lord was made of
Cos it's true
Oh so true


I am Jesus
Hear me preach
To numbers too big to ignore
Mankind may think he knows the score
But he ain't got no idea
Just what I'll do if he makes me sore


Oh yes, I am wise
And oh yes I most certainly can kick your ass
With this heavenly wisdom I carry within
Born of pain
On the cross
I paid the price
To save your immortal soul
So before you bad mouth or doubt me
Take a minute
And look how much you've gained
Cos believe me
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong
I am invinceable
I could be your downfall
I am Jesus


You can deny me
But we both know
In the end
Son, you'll never escape me or my judgement
Cause I'm the one who made you
I can bend or break you
Do anything I damm well please
In my father's name
Cos I've got that power
I've got those skillz that thillz
More determined then ever to achieve my final goal
Turn this whole stinkin' world around
On its ear and back around
Back around to how it used to be
Before that no good Eve took a forbidden bite
Now I swear mankind it's true
I've come back strong
Not gonna take your bull....any longer
Coming to deepen the conviction in your soul
Cos strangely enough
In this human skin
It's true


I am Jesus
Gonna hear me preach
In numbers too big to ignore
Got my mind set
On just one thing
Blowing yours
To make room for me and mine
This time ain't gonna take your no for an answer
Cos I am strong
I am tough
Stronger and tougher then you
Yes, indeed, it is true
Oh man, yes, I am Jesus
I am Jesus


I am Jesus
Watch my influence long overdue
Start to grow
All over again
See me teachin' em one and all
Just how to toe my kind of line
As I spread my lovin' butt kicking
Across all of the world wide web
Just remember this
You're still nothing but a embryo
Underneath my wings
Baby, you still got a long, long way to go
Before you're good enough to call yourself my lamb


Oh man
Oh Jesus
I am Jesus
Yeah, man, you just remember that
I'm in charge around here and always will be
Cos I am Jesus
Oh, yes, man, it's a bold brag but it's true
I am Jesus

© 2007 Ramona Thompson

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unapologeticunapologeticalmost 17 years ago
Another funny one

You had me giggling.

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