I Torch Myself

Sometimes late at night
When I'm alone and miserable
Can't sleep at night
I take out my favorite lighter and start a little party
Making myself pay for all my many sins
One by one
I put the flame to my sinner's skin
Smiling at the pain as...
I torch myself

Burning
The smell of my flesh assaults my senses
Yet I know this is what must be done
No other way that I can be forgiven I know
So weak
To be made stronger
The flesh must be made to pay
For wicked desires and secret shameful yearnings
Tonight this is my most fitting punishment
God will understand I'm sure that....
I torch myself

My secret
Kept hidden for years have been the scars
Under long sleeve t-shirts and sweaters
I have told no one until now
About my shame
My horror and my torment
Self-inflicted
Every night
Without fail
I deliver to myself the fire
To take away my awful desire
I torch myself

On my knees now
Once again I am ready
To face my duty
Flicking on the lighter
I lower it to my leg and watch
Time stands still as I watch
The skin try so desperatly to crawl away
Away from the hungry monster
Eager to feed on and consume it
Inch by sweet inch
My pain and my pleasure
On my webcam won't you please come watch me?
Won't you please try to stop me before.....
I torch myself.....

Again.....This time for the last time

By RAMONA THOMPSON

© 2006 RAMONA THOMPSON (All rights reserved)