I Will Die No More, Forever

As I stood there,
Studying that fetid corpse at my feet,
While wondering at the manner
And the cause of his defeat,
I gazed at the hideous disfigurement of his life-force,
That vile disembowelment of his soul, which in due course
I found did bring to me with painful inflection,
A smile of gleeful, sadistic abjection.

For ‘twas then I noticed the broken shards of glass,
Carelessly, senselessly strewn about the bloodied grass.
And a knife with a blade of rusted steel
Lying, streaked in vermilion, at my heels,
Did suggest to me a psychopath
With a wanton, insatiable thirst,
Indeed, a thirst and an appetite
Of horrendous delights, that at first
Inflamed my soul with an anger so grand
That it threatened my own life-force,
The very meaning of who I am.
And the feeling of such an undermining impotence-
That overwhelming of my soul,
Did near to pull me under,
Consume entirely,
Eradicate in whole…

But my spirit, though drained,
Called painfully for withdrawal,
For my feet to high-step it and run for cover,
Away from that hellhole;
To forget all that I’d seen there
And run, run into the night,
To leave behind that fiendish nightmare,
And steal away from that ungodly sight.

So then, in that time of unexpected clarity,
My soul, spirit, will and feet from there
In oneness and with all alacrity,
Did ride the wind in a desperate yet vital quest
For my freedom, and with luck, a new life-
A life filled with zest!

Yet cursed there did I seem to be,
Despised by my God, and His Son, and then finally
Abandoned by all…
All hope there once inside me,
Gone…
Returned to ashes, vanquished, set free;
And all those so dear to me,
Each one a part of me,
Gone…
Still so very much now,
Gone.

And in that moment of quiet desperation,
While passing through that
Never-never land of unholy schemes,
Did I find, running as I was
Into the fields of unmade dreams,
The answers to all questions –
A quenching of my thirst,
And a gift of spiritual freedom
I’d been seeking since my birth.

For then did I see, looking back once again,
That lump of rotted flesh, lying there, consumed in maggots,
Suddenly awaken, and in a decadent splendour rise,
With hopes of tearing me down once more,
Again in need of my demise;
Only to find, to its surprise,
Only to find – too late, it realized,
That my spirit, once conquered,
My soul, once defeated,
Would not, in its steadfast refusal,
Permit this crime to occur once more,
Would not again accept defeat, for sure.

So then did I cease my running,
And there did I take my stand,
To search the endless folds of maggots,
Crushing all that I found
In the hollow emptiness of my hand;
And then, looking upon this nameless evil,
While fighting my way through this blackened death,
Did I, with a new found inner love for life
Strike down with a purity of heart,
And smite its ne’er existent soul,
To send it crashing down straight-way
Into the blazing fires of Hell,
That Hell from whence it came, I’m told…

For indeed I tell you,
As long as the blue skies surround me,
And the grass grows green at my feet,
I swear to you, my children,
I will die no more,
Forever!