- Erotic Poetry
- IDD (International Direct Dialling)
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Your voice
fills the barren space
between my sheets.
I feel the undulation
of your huskiness
against the bare flesh
beneath my blanket.
It is rippling
over my pinkness
like sensitized fingers.
My breaths catch
on the line.
Smoke rings
the ceiling
as I run
after breath.
You sigh softly
and I can feel your smile
reach over the wire
and touch my ear.
I smile back.
Silence
is the culmination
and start of a new
ululation.
- COMMENTS
HoneyAdoredover 9 years ago...I am with Trix on this one, not so sure about the ending, but the start drew me in
Nice :-)
SkinandSinover 9 years agoAuthorIt is actually an old one I rediscovered among my typewritten notes (dating myself, I know, but, hey!).
Trixareforkidsover 9 years agoRight up until the last stanza. I think it would be stronger without it.
But regardless, the beginning is very good and forms a clear image.
Nice piece.
todski28over 9 years agohmm, not as good as others of yours I have read but still enjoyed this,
could maybe have played on the use of fingers to dial numbers instead of sensitized, just a thought :)
and I think the repetition of breaths and breath so close together could be switched to help your flow, gave you a 4
