- Erotic Poetry
- If I Could Crawl Inside You
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If I could crawl inside you I would.
As it is I cling to you
press my body into yours
as close and tight as I can.
Burrow my face into your neck
wrap my legs around your waist-
a slim strong vise-
until we fit together
like long-lost puzzle pieces
finally perfectly joined.
Locked together like this
flesh to flesh
it is almost possible to believe
we are one.
- COMMENTS
annanovaover 12 years agoThis... I feel as if I know exactly what you mean, tango. Just once, we all need to feel this way about someone.
You've commented before on my dialogue. If I could write poetry half as vivid as this, I'm not sure I'd do anything else.
Desejoalmost 13 years agoI puzzled over the line "a slim strong vise" a bit, but I think it's fine because it adds interest. There is something about the poem that makes me feel you had more to say, but didn't. Which is also just fine :)
twelveoonealmost 13 years agoyou're work is not bad. Most of the time they do have nice twists at the end. But this is a comment about behaviour. Why no comments on anyone else's? Surely you do not think yourself that good, or in need of improvement.
BTW A5
