If You Only Knew

If you only knew how you made me feel
When we first met how I floated through the each day
Each sunny, cloudless day full of joy and expectation
How I glowed...yes physically glowed and felt so very young
How I learned to believe in true love again
And that old soul mate thing I had no doubt it was true
For I found you.

If only you knew how disappointed I was
When that sunny day attracted a cloud.
I wasn't prepared to for the change
It wasn't supposed to happen
We were always to be in the
Bright happy place together.
So, I blocked that cloud out
And it remained sunny and bright in my heart.

Id only you knew how scared I felt
When that one cloud began to multiply.
There was no denying it now.
The sky was no longer full of happiness,
It was dark and foreboding.
I lost my glow.
But I wasn't prepared to protect myself
From the onslaught to come
I could not accept the truth.

If you only knew how hurt I was,
When the storm finally began.
Not much thunder, but rain enough to make
My heart heavy and painful to bear
Inside my sodden skin.
Not much lightning, but skies as dark as midnight
Bring with them sadness and despair
And a feeling of unreality.

If you only knew how you have helped me to change
I am no longer unprepared for inclement weather.
I never depend on promises of sunny days.
I have learned that what you see before your eyes
Is not always what is truly there.
I always except a cloud to be hiding the bright, clear sky
Just waiting for a silly sun worshipper like me.