- Erotic Poetry
- Incarnate
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
I am slow fever
Amid silent fireworks, splitting skin.
I am Braille labyrinth
Gods' fingers kissing, forging maps.
I am the Reaper
Wreaking hot death in cold valleys.
I am transparent
Words and diamonds on my tongue.
I am gossamer
Circuit frayed with insolent charge...
On this altar
Let me die a thousand times.
- COMMENTS
vrosej10about 13 years agoI got this one in my gut. Pretty damn good and blessedly concise. You're getting a recommend.
twelveooneabout 13 years agoyou got a 100, but
I am the Reaper
Wreaking hot death in cold valleys.
On this altar
Let me die a thousand times.
sounds like nothing but heavy metal posturing and cliched
buttersabout 13 years agomade to count, imagery-filled and tight. especially liked
Circuit frayed with insolent charge... for me, as the reader, that was very original and made an impression
also liked slow fever/silent fireworks/splitting skin
but would question the need for Amid...
I am slow fever
Silent fireworks, splitting skin
you might even lose the comma there.
the final lines flirted with the bland but i liked what preceded them enough for it not to seem to matter too much. of course, if you could find a better, more original way of saying it, conjure a phrase as unusual as your circuit frayed with insolent charge, that'd surely be even better for the write :)
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years agoI like you choice of words here, yin and yang. it's a powerful little poem with a message greater than its sum.
Tess
