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Click hereUnfocussed, my eyes
close again but not
without a brush of
vertigo. A hint of smoke
--a match? a cigarette?---
tells me I'm not alone, but
reopening one eye shows me
nothing but an inverted boot
tapping an impatient counterpoint
to the soft whine the nylon makes
with every intake of breath--still
curiously cool and reassuring
with the remnants of juleps and
aspic from our meal together,
Can you have a Last Supper attended
by only two instead of thirteen? No matter,
I relax, letting my body settle into
gravity's palm and awaiting round two,
feeling sweat and tears
evaporating
Unfocussed sounds superflous to me and I think starting with 'my eyes close again' would be better. I'm not sure the last supper line works, it doesn't seem to fit into the poem for some reason. Gravity's palm sounds a little gentle for the poem were the subject seems to be fighting against gravity.
Just a few thoughts. Other than that, nice poem but needs touching up a little.