- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Interrupted
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
I needed normalcy.
Just for a moment.
I took in the air,
The sun,
The noises.
The scent of life.
The people that surround me,
The bright colors,
The laughter,
The smiles.
Then I remembered…
you were gone…forever.
My moment was interrupted.
- COMMENTS
champagne1982almost 17 years agoLines in this. I was moved at the last triplet of lines. A choice I'd make in an edit would be to really work at condensing this into a more compact poem. Intensify it as if you were a sauciere bubbling a reduction of a broth too weak with water. Omit the show lines like, "The sun, The noises." This poem has fantastic promise, I hope you consider reworking it, to fulfill all it has.
This poem will be mentioned in the New Poems review thread on the Poetry Feedback and Discussion Forum on the Bulletin Boards.
