It's different with you

It’s different with you.

I think only of whether?
If?
How?
When?

nerves, pangs, curiosity
Push me to provoke you
Pursue you
And every ounce of strategy I can hold on to
Goes to not doing that

and damnit I just failed again

I’m crazy vulnerable
Splayed-open anxious
ssshed shy with yearning, need
to flow into, curl up to and breathe you in.

I love the joy of your laugh
The strange mix of irreverence and rules
Tradition and inhibition
Of solitude and sociability
Underpinned by relentless drive and critique

I dream of shared sleep
Rhythmic rise and fall of your arm thrown over me
Waking up to take you into my mouth in morning sunlight
Every thing magnified with delicious purpose

I want to crawl over you,
shower you with kisses and bites
mould myself around you like hot butterscotch
hear you sigh softly
and say your name

not just once , and much more than twice