Jealousy

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27 words
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todski28
todski28
19 Followers

Purple tip,
Soils pure

crimson rage
soiling thought

blood red,
soiled hands

dirt brown,
soils clothes

yellow fear
soiling clarity

blue uniform,
soiled life

Dark cell
Forever

todski28
todski28
19 Followers
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5 Comments
LesseloovesPeterLesseloovesPeterover 10 years ago

I like this, there's a lot here in little words...

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
Interesting

yellow fear

soiling clarity

I think I just ran over him; yes probably the best, if you are interested in the tension created by minimal lines Senna Jawa has two lines in a thread nameless nonbeing check it out, you should probably read everything he says, he's no bullshit, but a advise caution in taking that route completely.

Now as to the colours are you painting a rainbow of death? The colours and the soiled are a little done to death.

Now you being a bouncer, I do want you to check out the first line in mine, just say it twice, sound not word meaning, you must have seen it a lot.

5ed because you are not doing walkthoughs

AngelineAngelineover 10 years ago
You are being smart in your experimenting

I think you're building your understanding of both metaphor and rhetoric. Just my opinion and for an experiment it's not bad! I especially like

yellow fear

soiling clarity

todski28todski28over 10 years agoAuthor
Just experimenting

Thanks for the feedback, gotta keep trying new things

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
straight line highway to a

lonely place in as few words as possible : really dig your Minimalist style , Tod !

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