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Click herejesus mercy mirrors muses
save my sliding spreading soul
thinning out in feedback clamour
swallowing my ego whole
thinning out in feedback clamour
rocking on semantic waves
short of breath and short of reason
that my lost libido craves
short of breath and short of reason
mind comes out but logic blurred
poured like mantra, not reaction
mocking mimic word by word
poured like mantra, not reaction
sentiment and style escape
jesus mercy mirrors muses
someone, give me back my shape
The alliteration alone :) makes this a fantastic read--but you've just worked the form beautifully and it supports the content which, imho, is the way it's 'sposed to work.
A Scandinavian Longfellow reuses a classic poem's form perfectly,
adding alliteration.
In fact the rhythmic cadence is so strong that you may have to read the poem several times just to get past the pleasure of the structure and into the meat.
A strong 5 that you should read and enjoy.
it seems that the passion thread is spawning some terrific poetry lately!! very glad youposted this poem Liar, I especially love the flow, it doesnt miss a beat :)