knowing me

You don't know me, don't even try
keep pretending that you might have an inkling
of what i am, what makes me me

you have hurt me beyond repair
the weapon of choice ,yours, not mine
was simply to pretend that i did not exist

always my fault
always me the better person to be
always me
i can not take this

all for your gain
all for sympathy for you
you cry, you say i am the one
that has hurt you

that there is no blood on your hands
you hold them up and say see?
it was her, it is her, and always will be
her

i am the victim of her anger
of her hate
of her tirade
of her being in my world
this is what you say and
pity grows rich for you
you feed and gorge upon it like
a ravenous hyena

my death is something
you wish for deep
never uttering the words out loud
hopeful and afraid that they might come true
so reluctantly settling for a desperate wish
for my ceasing to exist

not understanding that i
may be a blood red moon
in your world but for another
I am the rising sun
and promise of life
a breath, a heart beat,
a life line, a rock

they know me
they know the hurt you have
caused me
the hurt you deny to others
that you have doled out to me
while proclaiming your innocence

and you think they think nothing of it ?
then that can be your fantasy
i know with out doubt that
it burns in them like a raging fire
only waiting for a wind to sweep it over you

try as you might my existence will
never fade
no matter how you wish beg and plead