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Click hereA dim new line in this new shade of light
Awkwardly switching from pale sign to night.
Here, Pressed against the mouth of Blodeuedd,
A letter Mark'd lightly with cardinal red.
Riding the backs of Gwydion's fair steeds
May queens rejoice in the grail of the creed,
And like spring blossoms, float where the wind leads,
Then harvesting after, Fand's bitter seeds.
Illumination comes hard through the bright;
But clasped round in darkness we cherish our sight,
And with ears unfettered we mark what is said
And watch the line circle the love we have bled.
Great poem! I am a fan of your work, hope to see more "hunting the hunters" soon! Keep up the excellent work!
A good pace, but watch your meter. You slip out of pentameter to 11 syllables occasionally - 4th line of verse one and 2nd line of verse three.
The two 'news' in the first line are a bit weak.
The poem also assumes an understanding of welsh(?) mythology that many of your readers won't have.
Good attempt at a lament though. M
this one, it has a lot of description to keep the reader involved and not many forced rhymes although I did stumble on the word 'Illumination' in the third stanza. Thanks for the read and I look forward to seeing more.