- Non-Erotic Poetry
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Click herewith just a sharp enough knife
i thought i could carve out your heart
and keep it with me always
but there was that awful bleeding
i could not stanch
it ran over your opened body
and your love soaked into the ground
where the earth became black
with my regret
this is how this wounded soil
was struck infertile
why nothing grows here, even now
- COMMENTS
twelveooneover 16 years agoThis has serious problems, it is a cliche, you had a good play with "heart carving" however it became cliched horror, the only way that will work is tight poetics and tight structure.
Seriously this subject matter cries for a form.
