Lesbians Just Don't Understand

A very dark parody of Will Smith's classic hit Parents Just Don't Understand

You know, lesbians all the same
No matter time or place
They don't understand us straight ladies
So to all you ladies out there across the land, there's no need to argue
Lesbians just don't understand

CHORUS

Nah, nah
Get away
Get away
Yeah
C'mon
Don't you get it?
No, you don't seem to understand girls
From us you ain't never gonna get it
No, no we don't wanna feel you
Okay?

I remember one year
I was out shopping with my boyfriend and some of our friends
Just mindin' our own
As we made our way through the downtown gallery mall

This girl started buggin'
Lookin' up and down at me and the clothes that I was wearin'
Makin' a pass she ask me out right then and there
In front of my man
I did't say nothin' at first
I just turned up my nose and walkin' on
She said. " What's wrong? I'll give you $50 bucks for a hour of your good lovin' time."
I said. "B..... that offer is whack and I'm worth a lot more then $50. Just ask my man."

The next half-hour was all the same same old same sex thing
Women from 22-93 hittin' on me
Offering me cold cash for a hot bi -curious alternate short term affair
I threatened to sue for harassment and they agurged gay rights and all that silly jazz
I said. "Ladies what are ya thinkin'? We ain't all twisted like that."
They said. "You ain't never tried it so how do ya know?"
So to all you ladies out there across the land suffering the same damn thing
There's no need to argue
Lesbians just don't understand

CHORUS
Repeat twice with next line

Holla all you ladies out there across the land

Uh, underdig the situation
Lady boss gave me 2 choices
Get my butt bounced out of a job or take a naughty little vacation with her
Left me the keys to her hotel room number 505
Told me her husband would't mind
Cos he don't and never will know
She's been living a double life for going on 5 years now

Says she just wants to give my sexy little body a spin
See what it does to me when she touches my rims
Brags that if I give in she'll make sure I become the company's next
vice president
Should I tell her where she can stick her outragous offer?
Well, maybe I should't
Yeah, of course I should

You payin' attention
'Cause the plot about to get hot
Yo, I pulled at her hair and screamed
Told that ho to get her hand back off of my block
Cos I only like the gentlemen with the big....
That's when I saw her husband
Standing there in the doorway
His face in a stone cold set
So cold
So chill like ice ice baby
Calm so calm he dialed up the 911
That's when I knew sure one of us ladies was going to the slammer and it sure was't gonna be here

In court the witch tried to play coy and pretend that it was all my fault
Told the judge that I got mad when she dissed my kiss
To my shock I finally understood
If she could't screw me the way she wanted then she would me screw me any other way that she could

Furious I lost my cool
Screaming at the witch, "Honey you're some kind of sick!"
Acting like a lunatic it then that I discovered the judge's one fatal love sick flaw
Oh God no don't tell me
Not her too
Yet just like all the rest I've done told you about in this song
She too likes the big soft breasts
Been sleepin' with my boss for just about a year now she has

Found guilty and sentenced
I was on my unmerry way
Facing 5-10 in the state pen
When I get out I swear I'm gonna kick both their.....

Would't undress
So my boss was't impressed
Had my hubby dial up the 911 on his celly
Now my butt gonna be wastin' away doin' 5-10
While the truth of her double life still remains unknown to all but me
Oh hell
Oh well

I can't believe it, I just tried to defend the honor of my body from her leechlous creeper horror
Well, what more can I say?
We all know
Nothing could be truer then this here song
Lesbians are all the same
No matter time or place
So to all you ladies out there across the land, take it from me
One who knows all too well
There's no need to argue
Lesbians just don't understand.......

NO MEANS NO !

2007 Ramona Thompson