Letter to a Crush

Dear Crush

I wish I could tell you I love you. You are a very perceptive woman, yet you're oblivious to my love. I'm amazed you still haven't noticed the way I look at you... And how you can always make me smile...

The worst thing is, I know it's unrequited. The only thing I'd achieve by telling you would be to make you distance yourself from me, effectively making me as good as dead.

I've tried to ignore these feelings, I really have; but I'm simply not strong enough to be alone. Not yet, anyway. I still need someone to reassure- and validate- me, and you happen to be that someone. I've lost count of the number of times I've wanted to kill myself- just end it all- but I'd never go through with it because I can't bear to hurt you. Or disappoint you. I'd think of you when you said "Things will get better". At first, I couldn't believe you, but now...

When I cry, you tell me it's okay to hurt sometimes. I wish I could tell you I never stop hurting. I wish I could tell you I can't even remember when I started. I wish I could tell you I love you.

It's easy to make a choice you know you'll regret- my life is full of those. So, when I tell you, I want it to be perfect. I'm just waiting for the right time: I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I finally confess this to you, I don't want to regret it.

To my Love, my Idol, my Saviour:
     I love you with all my heart,
     but damn, I wish I knew how to quit you.

Yours Truly,
     G.