Letting Go

This was the last time
the VERY last time
That HE would do this to HER.

The mental/emotional war going on between them
had taken the final toll on her
She was going to end it
NOW!

White sand filtered into her tennis shoes
with every step
The beach seemed to turn into quicksand
trying to slow her steps
toward the ocean.

The waves retreating away from her
giving her time to reconsider
this permanent solution to a temporary problem.

She sighed slowly unbuttoning her teal blouse
letting it slide down off of her body
forming a silken puddle at her feet.
Her trembling fingers unzipping the black leather skirt next.

Standing there in just her white lace bra and matching panties,
she felt lighter because she had made her decision
after months of indecision and lonely nights
fighting what her heart was whispering and
what her mind was telling her was true.

Slowly she sank down onto her knees
kneeling on the pile of discarded clothes,
she reached behind her neck tears filling her hazel eyes
as she started to unbuckle her cobalt blue collar.
Angrily she wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.

HE wasn't worth HER tears as she looked down at the copper disk
hanging off the collar sorta smiling remembering the night she was collared.
Her fingers reverently caressing the TSR number etched into the surface
tarnished by time and needing to be polished.

Those numbers meant EVERYTHING to her but seemed like NOTHING to HIM.
After all the they had been together and everything they had been thru
it should have been harder for HIM to say what HE had said to her in their Final talks.

Growling she threw the collar as far as she could into the ocean
watching as it floated away and was slowly claimed by the choppy white capped waves.
Collapsing onto the sand, she let out a primal yell one that was ripped from deep inside her.

She cried sobbing for everything they had, for what could have been.
She cried for the future that she had seen in his eyes in the beginning,
the children she had ached to have with Him,
she mourned for the person HE used to be.

She slowly tried to calm down taking deep breathes
as she shakily started to climb to her feet.
The wind caught hold of her long flowing brunette hair
causing it to twirl around her heartshaped face.

Dropping her glasses on the sand,
she crossed the sand quickly to the breakwaters.
The incoming waves crashed over her feet as she kept walking
deeper into the ocean.

The water hungrily lapped up her thighs,
a hungry lover desperate to devour her.
Enveloping her in its cold embrace pulling her deeper
to kiss her rubyred lips as it licked the salty tears off her cheeks.
She sank into the ocean her hair floating limply above her like seaweed.
Her body sinking ever deeper into the ocean depths as her lungs screamed for more air.

Just as the last few breathes of air from her lungs bubbled up
and out of her mouth, hazel eyes sprang open.
NO she would be DAMNED if she allowed this to happen!!

Holding her very last breathe in her chest, she vigorously kicked her and
cupped her hands to swim up towards the surface.
The desire to LIVE fueling her frantic race to the surface.
Her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, she burst thru to the surface.

She cried out happily as she coughed up sea water and swam
towards the beach and towards her future.
The inbound waves propelled her forward
encouraging her tired body to reach the shore.

As she felt the sandy beach under her feet,
she felt the regrets and what could have beens melt away.
She let the ocean have them every last one
as she kept walking back towards her car to start her life again.

She wasn't sure what lay ahead of her in the future
but she would NEVER again let the fear of failing or
getting hurt again stop her from living her life the way SHE wanted to live.