Limer-licks

Although I am sitting home
My mind does like to roam
To far away places
Those erotic spaces
Leading to this poem

There once was a girl named Sandy
Whose name did rhyme with candy
And, oh what a treat
To taste lips so sweet
Far better than the finest brandy

With words she liked to play
Till temptation led her astray
If you turn up the heat
Crawl under the sheet
Magic will come your way

Whether one hump or two
A hammer, iron or screw
Any day of the week
No matter which cheek
Will turn a blushing hue

Better to end this tale
Or other senses assail
Although not obscene
You can't call it clean
In search of the Holy Grail

I do not want to offend
On humor often depend
Be it a laugh or a moan
Just to make you groan
My unusual sensual blend

If you want some relief
Then let go of the grief
Take pleasure awhile
It will make you smile
That's my honest belief...

With nothing special to say
Was a rather ordinary day
Praise to the libido
Make it your credo
Celebrate without delay

There was a young lady from France
Who had a large hole in her pants
So that when she bent over
You could see clear to Dover
The perfect cliffs for your lance

A very fine rooster was he
Who liked to crow diddley-dee
Although it was luck
When he got to (pluck)
The hen was singing with glee

I'd better get to the pool
To stop this rhyming fool
Just like a pot
Boiling hot
And now needs time to cool

As I try to clean my mind
Often somewhat maligned
It is there I repent
For words misspent
Who knows what you may find

She cried, "Please, please do it more
At least till I'm good and sore
I don't want you to stop
Till you've spent every drop
And I crawl hands & knees on the floor."

Afraid the swim did not work
A penchant for passion my quirk
So please fill up the socket
With the gun in your pocket
Before I go completely berserk