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Lips
are like black holes
sucking your
soul
life
mind
self
cum
down
past
event horizon throats,
from which there is
no return,
scattering your pieces
like dust
among lost and lonely
hungry stars
that float
in a fetus universe.
.
- COMMENTS
buttersabout 13 years agomade me take notice. i liked! certainly wasn't expecting the line that followed 'Lips' - straight away you took me in an unexpected direction. that's good.
your 'event horizon throat' and your 'hungry stars that float in a fetus universe' complete this unusual write.
vrosej10about 13 years agoBut good. Format's a bit strange and I think that the section:
from which there is
no return,
should be one line. Remember when you enjamb you create a new unit of meaning within the poem. From which there is doesn't cut it one its own. Love the 'event horizon throats'
