losing control

Losing Control.

Hurt filling my soul; Deaths’ sharp needles bring a momentary pain.
Pools of blood collect beneath me, a bullet in my brain.
It was easy, anyone could do it, once his or her beating heart was slain.
I can tell you the moment, the minute; that my life began to drain.

It was a moment of lust and passion. Coupled by a trust, broken and shamed.
Could it be? Was it I? Was it they? Least to say, that person will not be named.
Only vulgar words come to mind, but even the sloppy cunt slut cannot be blamed.
I walked into the room. No need or time to explain. My anger became inflamed.

I could feel my stomach turn and twist. I could feel my skin becoming hot.
It is sad to say, at that moment of passion, I became something I am not.
I felt so many emotions all at once. Hurt, anger, disgust, there was a lot.
Deceit, sadness, deception, pain, many more to list, but I then forgot.

He brushed past my shoulder. I only stared beyond. And to what, I can’t recollect.
The black void engulfed my mind, next thing I knew, my hands were around her neck.
Squeezing and throbbing, I didn’t see what I was about to do, my mind a nervous wreck.
Her arms flailed, Her nails clawed, but I didn’t care. For her life I had no more respect.

This was too easy of a way out. I released my grip. My vengeance wasn’t sweet enough.
In back of my mind, I heard her cough and gasp for air, my mind decided to get rough.
My fists flailed, beating her face. She cried out in pain. I hadn’t even begun to get tough.
I pummeled her body. I thrust my fists into her pussy, she pleaded she’d had enough.

Her whimpering cries of pain finally reached my ears. I couldn’t handle anymore.
I stopped my assault. Her cries became louder. She didn’t move, lying on the floor.
She cowered in my shadow. I quietly turned around and slowly closed the door.
She cried out a little, knowing it wasn’t over. For her, something more was in store.

In the drawer of the bedside table, lie the gun, I didn’t know, would end my life.
Fear filled her soul. I unlocked the safety, backed the slide, and shot my cheating wife.
Her cries of pain and violation now subsided. Reality cutting into me, like a red-hot knife.
Blood spattered the wall, dotted the sheets and myself. The gore in there was quite rife.

I couldn’t believe what just happened. That wasn’t me. I loved her so maddening deep.
My body trembled. Disbelief spread in me. I shook my wife. Maybe she was only asleep.
I had no reason to live. My heart was dead, my wife as well. Deservingly, the pain I reap.
Pressing the gun to my head, I pulled the trigger. My blood on the carpet began to seep.