- Erotic Poetry
- Lust
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There’s enough light to see
through storm-grayed trees. Rain
slicks along curves, melting
into skin the way sweat joins
with the air. The wind licks
here, tasting the salt of steamed
flesh; then there, lapping
at sibilant leaves. Desire is
monochromatic on the outside.
Black, like lust-dilated eyes reflecting
a shrouded sky full of turbulence.
White, like a flash of teeth behind lips
in the split of light streaking across
the heavens to the ground.
Gray, like the taut need suspended,
upended, between two bodies. Inside,
it’s throbbing, like the pulse of the earth.
- COMMENTS
ishtatover 19 years agoI'm a recent convert to this site and have got a lot out of your work. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I love it, sometimes it turns me on, sometimes it turns me off, sometimes it gives me joy, sometimes it scares me stiff. Always it challenges me.It never bores. Most of all it encourages me, and maybe, just maybe, enough to publish my own half dozen stories which always seem to need just one more final polish . Thank you.
Fflowover 19 years agoEveryone's a fucking critic! I, for one, do not feel the need to nitpick poetry. It is a personal expression, and not subject to the rules one might apply to prose. If you don't like it, that's ok, but you don't have to bitch about it. Although it won't replace Shakespeare or Keats in my top ten list of favorite poems, it has its own natural cadance, it works with nice imagery, and its something that comes across as sincere, not merely contrived. Keep up the good work!
Maria2394over 19 years agowas okay, I like some of the images you brought, but I just wanted to point out that you used the word "like" 4 times in a very short poem. Perhaps you intended this, but in my opinion, it weakens your other words,
I know youre a good writer, I have read lots of your poems, and stories, just work on this'un a bit and make IT shine too!! :rose:
