My Apologies Would Mean Nothing Now

I had a vision of you in a bright, red dress
Dancing like a whore just for fun.
You were smiling, your eyes shined
Like bright, ugly stars in the night sky
That hangs repressively over my mind.

Your smile looked forced, slightly pained
As if being a whore wasn’t your thing.
It made me sad, but not too sad,
To think of you in emotional pain
When depression was always more your bag.

Yeah, depression and guilt and too many pills,
That was more you than you ever could be.
Maybe that’s why your gone,
Why you’ve been gone so long.
Maybe you needed a pain more real.

I hope you found it, I truly do,
I hope you found your to true suffering and pain.
True pain is just so much more real,
And, regardless of what those pop puppets all say,
We both that real is better than fake.

So here’s to you and my vision
Of you suffering with a smile.
Here’s to you and the pain you now enjoy.
I hope your happy planning the part of the whore.
I know wasn’t glad to see you that way,

But I was never about me, was it?