My Friend Eddie

Meet my friend Eddie
asked me to find him a steady
so i'll do my best to find him a woman
who'll pass the test
to the personal section i go
in hopes that the words will flow

He's a buffed man, kinda silly
with a golden tan
my friend is very handsome
but please, don't hold
him for ransom

Has a large square jaw
and well...works for the law
from Cincinnati, Ohio
He's been searching high and low
wanting a wife
to share his life

Eddie's lookin' for a lil' cutie
hopin' for excellent booty
my friend is very well endowed
his head usually found in the clouds
but not to worry always steady on his feet
it's you he wishes to meet

My friend will make you smile
always walk that extra mile
Eddie's the romantic type as well
give him a chance
he'll ring a ding ding ur bell
Just watch out when you kiss
he might bite you
with his one toofis

Theres the only draw back
that and several toes he may lack
So that's my friend Eddie
if you're interested
please don't hesitate
my friend can hardly wait
Give him a call, don't be shy
he just might be your kind of guy

(orig. 2003 revised 2005)