My Queen

As I made my home, I hoped and I prayed
That today was the day I would finally get laid
My wife is darn cute but she plays hard to get
So it's tough to predict when my hopes will be met

I'm sorry to say that she had a rough day
And is not in the mood to give me my way
The next day's no better because, I am told,
She's not feeling well - she has a darn cold
She sniffles and sneezes and blows her sore nose
For three days my impatience festers and grows
Once she recovers my hopes are restored
But my lustful pursuits are further ignored
She works from the house and a project's now due
So she sticks to the office computer like glue
Barely aware that I desperately need her
I'll try a new tact - for a week I then feed her
Warmth and affection with no hint of my lust
As a means to an end, my stategy's a bust
We're emotionally close but her libido's just gone
I have no control - I'm merely a pawn
And she is the Queen, with no use for a King,
Who resists my advances despite the gold ring
Her sister's in town; her hip or joints hurt;
She has a small cyst; her mood is just short;
Hasn't showered all day and feels like a mess;
She's allergic today or burdened by stress

As weeks turn to months and months become years
My slight paranoia turns to deep-seeded fears
I'm a fool for expecting this pattern to change
Sex with this woman's too hard to arrange!
But I'll chase her damn carrot 'til I'm old and gray
'Cause there's more to our bond than a roll in the hay