- Non-Erotic Poetry
- My Witching Hour
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Frozen at six chimes of the clock.
Feathers turn in my belly,
and fill me full-
making me sick.
The dark tickle of longing-
for you or to forget. My
witching hour-
you wove your spell,
sucked me in and left me open.
Left me open-
left me-
walking these midnight halls
where your laugh echoes and your sighs
burn my ears. Wanting
to sleep and dream of
something other than you.
Wanting to close my eyes and think
something other than why? And where?
And will you? Wanting
to see gold and your hand reaching
out of tomorrow.
Draw me into dawn and make your
promises true-
or say goodbye . Don't
leave me here where silver
slicks the floors I wander.
And salt crusts the edge
of my stumbling heart as it trips-
waiting for the next chime. Watching
the arms turn so slowly,
so fucking slowly-
facilitating my flagellation.
How long before I leave this
in between? This
space where yesterday and today touch?
How long before the velvet door closes-
by me? By you?
How long before I move forward-
with or without you?
How long before the seventh chime
breaks the bewitchment of
the midnight hour? Please...
- COMMENTS
sweet GA peachesover 16 years agoBut you got another vote, LOL...
I did not mean to click on my comment twice..
But then one could say, it was worth 2..
sGp
sweet GA peachesover 16 years agohaunting images the night-time keeps,
where demons dwell and wicked sleeps.
Not to disturb the unkempt soul..
Where love unravels, death unfolds.
Tis very rare for something to inspire me,
My words, (lame) or not-
were inspired by the black velvet
you painted on my sky..
Wonderful writing, oooh and I do love it !!
-sGp-
sweet GA peachesover 16 years agohaunting images the night-time keeps,
where demons dwell and wicked sleeps.
Not to disturb the unkempt soul..
Where love unravels, death unfolds.
Tis very rare for something to inspire me,
My words, (lame) or not-
were inspired by the black velvet
you painted on my sky..
Wonderful writing, oooh and I do love it !!
-sGp-
LeBrozover 16 years agoSuperb! This is one very looong second between chimes. And another excellent example of making enjambment work. Most poems I reread because I don't get it at first; the rest I reread for the pure pleasure of the craftmanship and the contents — this falls into the latter category.
Angelineover 16 years agoThis poem is just really well written. It works for me because it's an extended metaphor, and the only places I think it goes off its game is where you leave the metaphor. So, for example, the lines with questions (in maybe the third and next to last strophes, I think) sound like telling. The line with the adverb--"so fucking slowly"--also seems to intrude to me. And the ending, I'd lose the "Please...," but that's just my opinion. I came to read it because it got great reviews in the new poems thread, and I'm glad I did. :)
