Night Wings

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11 words
4.5
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oneiria
oneiria
120 Followers

The red sun
bleeds into the sky,

summoning the bats.

oneiria
oneiria
120 Followers
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5 Comments
buttersbuttersover 10 years ago
liked this

small but big. like the end line though 12's idea of 'bring on the bats' makes a little more punch there. my only problem, a minor one, is the 'bleeds' thing . . . we've all used it, it's a very fitting conceit, but i just feel i've read it too many times and so it feels a little stale.

Oldbear63Oldbear63over 10 years ago
Simple - sinister

Glad you didn't feel the need to take it further.

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
summoning

lacks a little

i.e. Bring on the bats. Bring out the bats

even Summoner of the bats

5

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
One Poet's take on

Twilight !