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Click hereNine leather tails across her chest
turn a nice red each lovely breast
and make her scream so loud and true,
which arouses both Me and you.
Your poem most definitely has a "roses are red, violets are blue" style to it. Unfortunately, it's all tell. As a reader, I'd like a poet to show me something new or show me something old but in a unique way. (thermometer set to neutral)