Nobody Likes the CHP

(California Highway Patrol)

ONE: My neighborhood policeman is so nice
He’s been to speak at my school twice
If I call, he’ll come to me
But nobody likes the CHP

TWO: I like firemen because they’re so brave
Think how many lives they save
They’re all heroes if you ask me
But nobody likes the CHP

BRIDGE:

Yeah, nobody likes you, CHP
You look like a bunch of creeps to me
This ain’t a freeway so leave me be
Nobody likes you, CHP

Bridge cont.

You gotta write those tickets, watch those wrecks
You like to be there on the scene
Be careful leaning on that car
You want to keep your uniform clean

Bridge cont.

Yeah, we saw you on that Rodney King video, you sons of bitches
Leaning against your squad cars, smoking cigarettes and shooting the breeze
While Rodney got his stupid head bashed in
At least it saved you a trip to the cleaners but I digress

THREE: There’s a guard outside our Wal-Mart store
Too big to fit inside the door
He could break it down in an emergency
Nobody likes the CHP

SECOND BRIDGE

Okay let me finish what I was saying in the first bridge
You dirtbags hang around the 7 Eleven parking lot
You know those people standing outside are homeless addicts
Your only responsibility is to roust them out of the trees and bushes
That grows around the freeway exits

Second bridge cont.

That sucks too but so does everything you do and
Yeah, you’ve got a shitty job but most jobs end up being shitty but
You don’t have to be such a dick about it, either
You’re supposed to write traffic tickets

Second bridge cont.

You should leave the hassling of the homeless to the local police
But that doesn’t mean you should call the police to come out just
Because you’re bored and have nothing better to do than
Stand and watch them hassling a bunch of junkies

Even the cops don’t like you

FOUR: Defensively is how to drive
If you want to stay alive
Just take this little tip from me
Don’t ever mess with the CHP