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Click hereSitting in a quiet corner,
alone but not quite so,
picking fights with Shadows,
Cobwebs,
and their little friend--Dust Mite,
I fuss and say 'you have no right!'
And all I get is strife.
'Don't clutter up my chaos;' of them I do beg aloud,
and yet Spiders and rings of Mold join in
and do Bitterness proud.
they spout it in their every spore--they scream it's name in joy,
all of them becoming a foe,
as I, feeling like a toy,
am in my quiet corner,
alone,
but not quite so...
pretty well. The phrasing became a problem at "...of them I do beg aloud," I think if you just said 'I beg' or 'I beg aloud' it would work a bit better. "and do Bitterness proud." seemed a little rough too. Perhaps "doing Bitterness proud." or something like that. Besides those two items an excellent poem. I liked the way you moved the lines across the page. The placement added a lot here. Well done...
jim : )
This poem has the makings of a really nice piece and has some lovely ideas and lines but it reads awkwardly in spots such as "of them I do beg aloud." A revision might be in order but I think it is worthy of 75 and a 4.