- Erotic Poetry
- Once I Knew A Man Who...
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-Once I Knew A Man Who Was In Love With His Best Friend’s Wife-
He has ordered his sleep
so that it comes quickly.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.
He is not a religious man.
He believes in science.
His heart is quiet, these days.
He brushes his teeth (Thou)
undresses (shalt)
methodically. The idea (not)
of you (covet)
never touches him here (thy)
anymore (neighbor’s)
He is a clean box (wife)
not dusty (Thou)
He has made corners (shalt)
in his surfacing (not)
a cautious elimination (covet)
of layers of dream (thy)
He sheds you (neighbor’s)
each morning (wife)
before waking
clean, hungry (amen)
- COMMENTS
manipulatrixover 16 years agothis several times. Once reading the parenthetical prayer in line. Once leaving it out (but with it in mind, bothersome... like the man... nicely done, bijou!). Once reading it without thinking, letting the words just run across my eyes. I love what you do with words.
KOLKOREalmost 17 years agovery original as form and content merge in mimicking the 'noise' in one's tortured mind. Great work!
annaswirlsalmost 17 years agoI really like this poem-- was distracted by the (Thou) at the end of each line, but I know why it is necessary. Perhaps you might consider skipping lines and only going through the commandment once. Just a thought. I am really enjoying your poetry.
Angelinealmost 17 years agoand arresting. A thought-provoking read.
Recommended in today's new poems reviews in the poetry feedback and discussion forum. Thanks for the read.
Angeline
