One Lugubrious Plum

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You are a leafy bent branch
tipped with one lugubrious plum,
plump, plumper.

I, like Tantalus, naked in the river
reaching for you, whether for safety
or for sustenance,

wanting another outcome,
a different footing, expectant
but expecting the same.

I grasp at the atmosphere, panicked, blind, frantic,
needing a fingerling of the faint impression
of your audible atoms
colliding with the giddy life of fruit.

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7 Comments
Bill DadaBill Dadaover 14 years ago
^

A well deserved E, very nicely done.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Excellent, as always.

I am a thundercloud plum / rushed all into bloom / but fruitless and glum / for I'm tantalised, too ;-)

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerabout 15 years ago
Wonderful

I'd like to think that if anonymous spent perhaps 5 minutes Wikipedia-ing the following quote about "Tantulus," he/she might have had a better appreciation of what a fine poem this is:

"Tantalus's punishment, now proverbial for temptation without satisfaction (the source of the English word "tantalizing", was to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches. Whenever he reached for the fruit, the branches raised his intended meal from his grasp."

I might have re-worked, however, the last stanza. The alliteration didn't work for me, and the lack of fufillment, presumably intended in the last stanze, didn't match the wonderful lyricisim of what preceded it. Please see that, however, as an opportunity missed in my view in this delightful poem.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
blown away?

how about BLAH away. The eds were just looking to give an E to anything, this was it.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasureabout 15 years ago
blown away ~

For once I approve of the green Eee. Well deserved. I can add nothing new in the way of comment.

Tess

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