- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Passing
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She stands amidst the willows
and the wild flowers in the quiet
of his garden, where his caring hands
once nurtured newborn sprouts
She strolls the paths where they
lingered on daydreams, where hands
once joined at tender fingertips,
and wanting lips met in embrace
She perches on the garden bench
that he carved with his love for her;
and she watches as even the leaves
lament and surrender in sorrow
The crispness of autumn claimed his
body and the winter would chill
his grave, but the earth where he rests
is all that sweeter for his presence
No more comfort of a blue sky has she
to grieve; in the dimming light,
she passes through the gate to where he
sleeps and the cold stone gives little
comfort to her shivering hand
He will not return to her in the spring,
nor will she feel his lips meld with her
own, nor will her faint heart
ever know a love such as his; in mourning,
she weeps once more
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREalmost 16 years agoThis Friday is set (according to this poet) to be gloomier than the rest - but coming from her: even gloom isn't so dark... It feels like a classic poem of eulogy and as such feels very fresh. It's actually quite challenging: taking an almost 'automated image' and freshen it by the use of unexpected language: "She strolls the paths where they/lingered on daydreams, where hands/once joined...” Here you might expect a strong image of connected hands but the line follows in a different direction: "…at tender fingertips,/and wanting lips met in embrace" it's only the edges of the fingers which are connected, and the dream of a stronger physical contact is swiftly shifted from the hands to the "embrace of the lips": a metaphor which still carries the expected image of the embracing hands. This is a wonderful work on the reader's expectations which in fact simulates (in a small way) the yearning and the frustration of the woman in the poem.
I am not carried to such detail too often, but somehow I felt compelled...
champagne1982almost 16 years agoA beautiful elegy using so many metaphors for endings and impressions of death, but it isn't dark, just sad. Really well done, thanks for your poem.
This poem is mentioned on the New Poems Review thread in Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.
