Erotic PoetryPickupPickup
Warm morning sunshine lights
Big ebony girl with red bandana
Ivory teeth shine
Melon tits strain yellow blouse buttons
Plops down on bus stop bench
Big ass in red shorts absorbs force
Zipper dislodges
Blowing smoke from her cigarette
Flails arms backwards
Big eyes look around
Honey-brown pickup truck stops
Conversation...persuasion
(Fifteen minutes later)
Yellow blouse on the dashboard
Red shorts on the shifter
Legs up in the air
Big cock buried in her snatch
Red bandana still on her head
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English
Melon
this is good instinct -variance, and trip up
Not primary colour, Primary, Not primary colour, Melon (?), Primary, Primary
This operates, propels, makes the reader stop and ask what hit me.
this good comedy
Conversation...persuasion
(Fifteen minutes later)
you do continue with the colours, but suppose you had organized them in a structure as in the top, what would that have done? Think about it...more...
thanks 1201, your comment on first line is appropriate, I used it to
make the teeth shine and warm up the atmosphere but agree I can 86 it, the colors are an attempt to paint the picture from reality, sure cliches abound but how to paint without color--maybe more reality? From the distance I spotted her could not check her dental health but maybe you are right, I should have. Thanks anyway. There is nothing wrong with being a prick. I am frequently a prick as well; after all, you cannot fuck without one unless you are on the receiving end and even then a hand job is often in order to finalize the matter. Best regards....
Oh yes, Ashesh, I know it is a short one, in my experience, some girls prefer a short one so to please them you must only just stick the head in and leave the rest out for the partner who longs for the whole shabang....take care of "our great Indian poet"!more...
this time a
short story , Erectus ? No matter, appreciated the tale & 5-ed .
5ed
the shorter you make, the more you focus, let's do a little more
1st line, Serve a purpose?, I don't see one, get rid.
Next set, we'll forget the cliches
ebony,Ivory,Melon,yellow,red
Melon, wait not a colour, nice slip in, varience, this is this shit you are aiming for
back to the cliches
ebony girl, Ivory teeth, Melon tits, well kind of old
I 5ed, 'cause even if I am a prick, I'm an easy one, and I like the fact that you are leaving comments and not just taking up spacemore...
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