Pickup

byerectus123©

Pickup

Warm morning sunshine lights
Big ebony girl with red bandana
Ivory teeth shine
Melon tits strain yellow blouse buttons
Plops down on bus stop bench
Big ass in red shorts absorbs force
Zipper dislodges
Blowing smoke from her cigarette
Flails arms backwards
Big eyes look around
Honey-brown pickup truck stops
Conversation...persuasion
(Fifteen minutes later)
Yellow blouse on the dashboard
Red shorts on the shifter
Legs up in the air
Big cock buried in her snatch
Red bandana still on her head

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by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by twelveoone03/05/13

Melon

this is good instinct -variance, and trip up
Not primary colour, Primary, Not primary colour, Melon (?), Primary, Primary
This operates, propels, makes the reader stop and ask what hit me.
this good comedy
Conversation...persuasion
(Fifteenmore...

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by erectus12303/03/13

thanks 1201, your comment on first line is appropriate, I used it to

make the teeth shine and warm up the atmosphere but agree I can 86 it, the colors are an attempt to paint the picture from reality, sure cliches abound but how to paint without color--maybe more reality?more...

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by Ashesh903/03/13

this time a

short story , Erectus ? No matter, appreciated the tale & 5-ed .

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by twelveoone03/03/13

5ed

the shorter you make, the more you focus, let's do a little more
1st line, Serve a purpose?, I don't see one, get rid.
Next set, we'll forget the cliches
ebony,Ivory,Melon,yellow,red
Melon, wait not amore...

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