- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Pier 1 bedroom
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carpets woven in mint and cream
butter lamps
a Javanese bed that sighs like a whore
fresh cut jasmine and wet grass
saffron oil smudges
a clove cigarette spitting on enamel tray
Ceylanese goddess thighs
Maori tattooed back
silver anklets and Beijing crimson toes
Samarkand caresses
liquid pearls on hennaed belly
contented sighs in the night
Salt distilled from Kathmandu tears
beaten adobe floor
Chinese mosquito coil
rat gnawed foam mattress
oil streaked Manila canals
charcoal smudges
burning garbage and plastic bags
rickshaw callused hands
sari wrapped stretch marks
cracked flip flops by the door
ten dollar Phuket ladyboy
discarded condom in a pit latrine
stifled cries in the night
Salt distilled from Kathmandu tears
- COMMENTS
buttersalmost 13 years agoboth rich, both vivid... you feed us image after image after image - props on a stage that's the room. more than that, you feed us colour, texture, flavour and simply words that are wonderful to the mouth as we speak. you even give us a 'trip around the world' with the name-places... something i found apt considering the context of this write.
part two shows the slip into degeneration, and the visuals contrast starkly with the first half's. the reps of 'Salt distilled from Kathmandu tears' work wonderfully for me, grounding the poem even further.
a sensory poem, offering us the seduction of butter lamps/fresh cut jasmine and wet grass' then, on the turn of a few lines, dealing us 'oil streaked Manila canals,charcoal smudges burning garbage and plastic bags'.
i am really enjoying reading you, desejo. :)
Neonuroticalmost 13 years agoAlthough this is a walk though a showroom, it really does remind me of a trip to Indonesia I went on years ago (except the ladyboy of course). As I said before, I like your poetry for it's vivid imagery. I think what you've put in each stanza is needed, nothing deficient or extraneous. Very nice. Easy 5 for me.
twelveoonealmost 13 years agosure, I don't know how to read this, I'm really not too bad at these things, what I see is a statement of nonstatement. 4 "good" blocks, line:
"Salt distilled from Kathmandu tears" smelling of patchouli, 4 "bad blocks" line: ...patchouli BTW on the cleverness meter on a scale of one to ten dollar Phuket ladyboy rates a solid five.
Do I look at this from a Marxist, neo-colonist (pun) standpoint, or do I look at this as something generated and sorted, but not completely thought out. It does look a little too calculated, and smelling of patchouli,
I'll go back and check the catalogue, and then I'll come back and vote.
Your old friend, the numbered one.
