Poets’ Corner Pt. 02byevelyn_carroll©
More smutty clerihews; this time with a more foreign feel.
It was often said that Moliere
Abominated pubic hair;
But the fluff around a woman’s arse
Was his inspiration to write farce.
Was always in need
Of a good rhyme for Fotz;
He’d invented lots.
Mary de France
Love fucking – even more than dance.
It always left her vagina sore
But still she craved le petit mort.
Federico Garcia Lorca
Each Tuesday night would cork her
Using his enormous knob,
Which was quite big enough to make her sob.
The husband of Frau von Schiller
Knew fifty ways to thrill her.
He said ‘If these positions still don’t suit yer,
There’s always the ones in The Kama Sutra.’
Could not have been cruder
When he tore off her poncho
And became her head honcho.
W. H. Auden
Suffered from boredom.
With Benjamin Britten
Except when he’d stiffen.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Didn’t really mean to hurt her;
Though during sex he would mutter vile obscenties
He was thinking of their Elective Affinities.
All women fucked by J.R.R. Tolkien
Considered him bent and really quite mean.
He made them all imagine (poetically, in Elvish)
The perverted things he could do to them with shellfish.
And not just that; the writer of The Hobbit
Was not a big fan of John Wayne Bobbitt;
The very last girl he’d abused with a pike
Got her revenge – and bit off his spike.
And last; dead poet Mao Tse Tung
Did not like, at all, the taste of his dung.
When feted by Nixon in China, all hugger-mugger,
Mao would not lick Dick clean, after their bugger.
These are just notes – for all poly-gloats.
1. FOTZE is the German word for cunt. I took a small liberty with its gender in the rhyme because, I believe, the masculine form “alt fotz” is sometimes used to refer to a man (often in friendly jest). By the way, Fried (Pron. freed) is a fantastic and often very erotic poet; almost a pop star in Germany and Austria in his lifetime. There is a very free translation (my own) of one of his works, and some other very short quotes, in my novel Those Whom the Gods… on this site.
2. LE PETIT MORT (the little death) is, I believe, a French metaphor for orgasm. MORT does rhyme with MORE; trust me. So, that one works better if you read it out loud to emphasize the double entendre. BTW, la petite morte (which rhymes with SORT) is the little dead girl. And I don’t do necrophilia . . . It’s dead boring.