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Click hereI cannot meet you
though you tempt with words of love
spoken now of feelings long ago.
Not used back then, when
they'd have meant so much
but intended now
to entice me to your bed.
Being not that cruel I will never say
you never were that great
and now that love has cooled
your chances sink to zero,
for all your pretty words.
For what it's worth, I really like this part of the poem:
"Being not that cruel I will never say
you never were that great"
Original and familiar theme (men can be jerks!). I think this would have been a much stronger poem if it had stopped at 'you never were that great'.
until the last two lines, which seem to deflate the poem (for all their understandable nature). Perhaps it's the word "zero" which deflates it? I'm not sure. The beginning is so strong it deserves a better end x
The overall message was presented well but it seemed a little bit twisty near the end, if that makes sense. But, I don't know how you would say it differently.
~ maria