Queen for a daybyDrbeamer3333©
Note: while I do not fully understand the life of the cuckold, I have found myself fascinated with the stories I have encountered on this site. The emotions that I feel when reading are hard to describe. At once I am in horror, not understanding the cuckold's inability to stand up for himself, all the while feeling butterflies in my stomach and my skin flush with excitement. I have tried to capture some of those thoughts here.
The feelings overwhelm me and I am left in a crumpled heap
Can I even call myself a man, being at the same time aroused and yet ashamed?
This does not seem to be the proper role of a husband
To stand idly by as you shower your affections on another man
This can't be what little boys dream of when they first fall in love
The conflict is unbearable and the turmoil within
threatens to send me flailing off a precipice.
And yet . . .
It is that fall that I desire
Floating about as I abandon myself to powerful emotions
It is that hopeless sorrow that envelopes me and brings me comfort
It is what I deserve
What I crave
And I am at loss to explain this feeling
It seems that only in this state do I bring you pleasure
And I want to see you pleased
Even if the price is seeing you in the arms of another man
Even if every moment I wish it were me
Desperately restraining myself
The risk of losing you is high, and I am terrified
But the fear brings forth a desire so intense that it intoxicates me
And the dream that you will forsake all others and come to me
Sends me reeling in ecstasy
The pain in seeing you give yourself to him runs deep,
and it causes me to quiver with excitement
If only it could be me!
It somehow seems that the longing for your gentle touch to find me once again
Has become more satisfying than the actual touch itself
And just when I think I have lost you . . . I wonder . . .
If you were queen for a day, would you feel as I feel?
Would pleasure succumb to heartache
And would you find yourself screaming
Clutching me away from a meaningless lover
Desiring me to be only yours?
Would you fight to rescue me
To win me back
To make me desire only you?
Would you find this position unbearable,
And take a stand for me, for our love?
I have no doubt.
And it is in this realization that I find my love for you beaming.
Without question, I am yours
And that is all I need from you.