- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Rage & Love
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Click hereRage:
I cannot save you, if i cannot save myself
This hell we live in, I can no longer tell
If pain is real, or it's just a feeling
I dream of hanging myself from the ceiling
Of spilling my blood all over the place
A look of vengeance plastered on my face
Sure, now i'm numb, and it's not so bad
I can't see the knife, i can't see the plan
But i can't see the light at the end of it all
I can't see my friends who never call
There is only numbness in this cold dark place
I dearly hope that it isn't the case
That nothing is solved, or rectified
If this is the case, i've already died
I leave all my things to charity
Cause my friends have done nothing to earn a thing
Love:
It's not my friends job to save me, though
It's my job only, my job alone
I have to want it, to beg it to come
And stop myself from running away from
The good that could come, to ease my pain
The cleansing feeling of the spring-time rain
The love that shines down upon me and keeps me safe
So i can live to see another beautiful day
The rage has to end, i don't have a choice
I must kill that part of me, that hateful voice
Or at least make it slave to my every whim
Maybe give in to those around me, and believe in Him
But there must be some other way to save myself
To preserve myself whole and not remain in hell
This internal struggle, it cannot last
Or i'll cut myself, and slip away fast
And go to hell for murder in the worst degree
So the desperate piece of me tries to break free
- COMMENTS
Bridget69almost 19 years agoit is love that overcomes all other emotions and makes us reevaluate our lives.
Jennifer Calmost 19 years agoand very strong.
Raw real emotion bursts
from this piece and i
could see myself in your words.
Love is stronger than evil
love is stronger than death and
love always wins in the end.
Great poetry.
Thanks.
~ J
Anonymousalmost 19 years agoLots of terrific stuff in this poem. The feeling of angst and agony in the first strophe was especially rich.
I think using consistent punctuation and capitals would have made it even more enjoyable. A couple places you also used rhyming schemes that seemed forced (First strophe ceiling/feeling and place/face two principle examples.) Eliminating these would really strengthen the poem.
Of the three poems of yours I've read, this is the strongest piece. Definitely above the other 2, but I think there's still a lot of room for improvement.
angelicminxalmost 19 years agoYou have a way of expressing the inner turmoil that we have all gone through at some point in our lives, if we are honest with ourselves. You are an excellent writer, D, don't ever be afraid to share your work with the world.
BTW, I get the first autographed copy. ;):D. Kisses! ~Minx
