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Click hereI like it raw
high gloss over run
with her saliva.
There'll be nothing
lingering between us
except for a film of her lush
viscous
Gewurz-tram-in-er.
I observe
from beneath her flesh
poised
perfectly pointed jaw
mute gasp as she
slips
it
in
her mouth.
Delectable Sashimi slam-mer
tantalising Nori-ng headlock.
Whores d'oeuvre Carpaccio
cures my bitter-salt vein.
Punching the raw carcass
breaking my bones
healing her butcher
with cleaver blow.
Yearling of my
heartache
pounding
the butcher's block
Frenching the fore-
skin from my bone.
The feeling I get
when sliced in two
medium rare won't cut it.
There's only one way
to serve me
viande crue, that's
glossy red-blue.
She likes her meat
well-done
I want it raw
to the bone.
- COMMENTS
case28over 10 years agoAuthorThank you so much for your great feedback, I'm actually pleasantly surprised by the response.
Desejoover 10 years agoYipes! Vegans be warned! I think this stretches the limits of metaphor but that is part of the intent.? Healing her butcher/with cleaver blow? I like the alternative word usage. I like how you have done your line breaks - it would be a very different poem if they were done differently. Certainly appropriately titled in any case...high marks for creativity.
HarryHillover 10 years agoGewurz-tram-in-er is a German wine that I never cared for but it works so well! All the marbles.
twelveooneover 10 years agoI was not inclined to leave one, probably on first sight alone.
I like it raw
and short lines and excess of hyphens and the end looks like a disaster. However it does have it's moments
see that is the cool thing about comments, sometimes you get one that disagrees
don't worry score didn't suffer
hesitant 5
