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Click hereRaw
So raw and painful,
My needs not met,
Still holding, stopping,
Yet gushing wet.
Aching full tension,
The edge of bliss,
I hold myself back,
Lusts breathing kiss.
Pleading and giving,
Soon all is lost,
Desires so fresh.
Fullfillments cost.
Swirling emotions,
Denials touch,
Cumming, screaming,
My souls debauch.
dlt © Nov 22 2004
- COMMENTS
LilDarlinover 19 years agoVery err insightful imagery (lol). The flow was solid. Very good one here..More Please~
My Erotic Tailover 19 years agonice play with words...I was left raw after reading it...grin...nice poem!
WickedEveover 19 years agoYour poem is mentioned on the new poems review thread on the poetry board.
*No thermometer rating
impressiveover 19 years agoI can live with the license, for I felt the pulse of this poem. ~Imp
Christina O. Leighover 19 years agoAlso, I forgot to tell you when we were going back and forth with suggestions in the forum....
that usually 4, 5, 4, 5 count are rarely seen but it still is a solid count. You could even go more. Say 7, 5, 7, 5 for each stanza OR 5, 7, 5, 7. Adding a little more to make it sound a little deeper with more details.
Again, it was a goodie :)
