Reality check

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todski28
todski28
20 Followers

At it again, fists smash flesh
bash and rend, too young, too small
to defend, my brother,
mother, me, we all cop a hiding
so I retreat to my sanctuary

I hide and read about a magical
place, with races of creatures
that capture the imagination,
letting me escape cursed reality
to a land in my mind, its frailty
apparent when the screaming starts
in.

I read on, force my mind to go
to Narnia.
The lines blurred by tears,
child fears hidden amongst
the wonder of a world where
the children win,
they have right on their side, the might
of swords, bows and knives,
wielding weapons against the evil
oppression that rages in a world not their own

my world is splintered, like the robe door I was
hiding behind, try as I might, to fight back
against the maelstrom brought down
by my failure to make a bed to standard,
I am left bleeding on the floor, stranded,
alone, my precious book shredded by a man
wedded to vicious intent.

So Narnia where my mind could flee is
now torn tatters on the floor,
don't know if tears are because of pain,
or at the loss of a place I could go
to keep me sane,
dreams and reality don't coincide
in the place I used to hide.

No, dreams and reality don't coincide
in the place I used to hide.

todski28
todski28
20 Followers
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todski28todski28over 10 years agoAuthor
to theoncomingstorm

I read one of your poems that did the same for me, I'm sure I commented on it also. Thanks for taking the time to comment.,

theoncomingstormtheoncomingstormover 10 years ago

This hit home with me more than any poem I've read on lit. Thank you for sharing it. The feelings it evoked in me made me feel like you'd seen my childhood and took me right back there.

todski28todski28over 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks for the comments

Ash don't stress mate, we all have lives, all we can do is comment on what we "get" when we see it. as always your comments and everyone else's are appreciated.

No nitpick Angeline.... are you feeling well? :-p

thank you Greenmountaineer, I was hoping that that repetition would cause a final punch of helplessness.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 10 years ago

My first impression was you said it all in the first 3 stanzas and could have ended there. However, the dramatic repetition of the two lines at the end of the poem brought me back into the mind of of a young boy going over and over a desperate situation, trying to solve a problem he can not solve, so the 4th and 5th stanzas that extended the Narnia narrative as an escape worked well after all. Excellent poem, tod.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
Tod , sorry for the delayed comment

I liked this in the challenge thread : i like it here too . Wish such vicious things did'nt happen to you or to any abused kid : but you overcame misery & have metamorphed into a successful entrepreneur / poet ! Congrats , Tod more power to you :5- ed .

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