- Non-Erotic Poetry
- red tint
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even the waving blades of grass
have a reddened tint to eyes
upon deserting sun
to the south over the plain
copper base and satin azurite
leads up to the dark
to a scimitar of pearl alone
i wait for stars in air
so clear
i am alone
far from home and cold
a darker damask
comes soon
Authour's Note: Night falls, that is all, 'satin azurite' can be viewed as a pitiful attempt on my part to avoid on my part the word 'azure' or a curious double inversion, both would be correct.
- COMMENTS
Cleardaynowalmost 10 years agoThere is some justice (poetic even) that someone or something has selected you to be right up there in the highest firmament, just after ‘Our Special Message’ and just ahead of ‘My Whole Life..’ I actually like ‘Lament of a Yellow Girl’ (now in fourth position) and even think it could be there without divine intervention. It must be a source of considerable pride to you to receive such recognition.
It is interesting to think that this sudden elevation of your masterpiece (interesting origins for the term) to the Halls of Valhalla (dreadful mix of metaphors) means that there is someone active on the poetry hub with both the sense of humour (I humbly would claim that) and the capability of screwing the system electronically (unfortunately I lack that).
It is good to see that some at least of the unspeakable rubbish has been removed from the Hall of Fame. Well done the site police. And well done whoever is responsible for your elevation – he or she has my very real admiration.
Incidentally, I do quite like this poem of yours – but I dearly wish I could find that other one of yours on the threads I liked so very much.
twelveoonealmost 10 years agoAuthorthis poem had about 20 votes yesterday, it now has 90, unlikely that 70 people had some kind of divine revelation. to my knowledge the poem does not have an outside link nor do I have a fan base. due to the limited real audience for poetry any poem with more than 20 votes is suspect. i despise voting without comment, and offer an apology (even though I had nothing to do with this) to any one that this poem jumped ahead of. well most anyone as there are probably others that have been gamed.
thank you 1201
Tsothaabout 10 years agoSome things are easy to describe. Others, not so much. A specific cloud formation, a specific sunset, the feelings one has while watching those... What makes those interesting, I think, is how a person's own mind "paints" the scene, or in the case of a poem, chooses words.
I find your choice of words curious. A "copper base" and "satin azurite"; an orange metal and a blue mineral, which contains copper. "Blades" of grass, "scimitar" of pearl. "Deserting" sun. It's like this scene is being depicted by a specific character, and I can almost see him. Almost.
Hm. Not quite how I would describe nightfall, but then, that's what makes it interesting.
Maria2394about 10 years agobeautiful, well-thought work, as always with your poetry. I bow humbly.
